Monthly Archives: March 2014

Ridiculous knit baby pants–and other clothing items that exist.


I knit these pants before Simon was born, and decided that he should get some wear out of them before it gets warm–if that day ever comes–and before he outgrows them. Already, they’re becoming culottish. They’re called Kanoko Baby Pants, and they’re a free Ravelry download. (Ravelry–great site source for all sorts of knitting and crochet patterns.) They feature the seed stitch–one of my favorite looking stitches, but also one I like knitting the least. It’s basically like ribbing, except you knit the purl stitches and purl the knit stitches on the next row. Any idiot can do it, I’m proof. Anyway, despite what David said when he saw Simon sporting these pants this morning, I think they’re cute, and let’s face it: Babies can get away with more ridiculous fashion attire. DSC_0379 DSC_0371 DSC_0391 However, the Kanoko pants are no longer the main topic of this post. Get ready. Culottes. Remember those? I had forgotten, but now seem to recall that my mom had several pairs for me when I was 8 or 9. Were they ever really “in”? I doubt it. I Googled around to see for sure how it’s spelled, and discovered, to my great horror, that they’re still around. Apparently they’re a choice clothing item for women and girls seeking to be modest in their dress. Okay. I’m all for modesty. I suppose they’re modest. I won’t say anything more. Just kidding. OF COURSE I’ll say more. There should be some sort of person in charge of blacklisting certain fashions. I’ll volunteer for the position. These would occupy the top slot, followed closely by elastic-waist women’s jeans with no butt pockets. There are these. front_pleat_culotte_3     And these. culottes And, finally, for a final dose of fashion fail, I found these. culotte_fron_pleat_camo_1_1 A trifecta of fashion missteps: Cargo pockets, camo, and pleats. In a culotte form. They’re only $36.95! Better snag a pair before they’re sold out, ladies.

Amelia just looked over my shoulder and stated, “I want those pants. Or, that dress. I don’t know.”

I don’t know, either, honey.